In true Dunedin Herald fashion, we had a question so we asked someone who knows.
The New Zealand First public meeting in the Independent Republic of Mosgiel provided. And by provided we mean provided a Charlie Kirk hat, a rant about abolishing all the Māori seats NZ First once held, and talk about buying back the Bank of New Zealand.
Outside there were protesters with the Palestinian flag and one young person got kicked out for asking so-called ‘Winston Peters’ why he is ignoring so-called ‘consensus’ among so-called ‘scientists’ that there is a so-called ‘climate emergency’ upon us.
But most importantly, we had New Zealand First ‘big league’ Michael Laws explain to us the difference between their policy and the Greens’.
Both parties are seeking to nationalise something, meaning take it back from private hands to keep profits in New Zealand instead of (often) overseas.
New Zealand First wants to buy back the Bank of New Zealand (BNZ), and the Greens want to buy 120 supermarkets to create one government-owned chain.
NZ First leader Winston Peters said the Green Party’s plan is “communism by stealth.”
The key difference between these two said Laws, is that one is buying back and one is passing a law to take. The Green Party are “buying already existing stores,” as stated in RNZ, whereas New Zealand First are buying back.
And while, “there is no prospect in the world that the Greens are going to get a supermarket chain,” NZ First still have to convince National and Act it will be a good idea to buy back BNZ.
Laws did not expand on whether he thought this plan was any more prospectable in terms of coalition partners taking it on. And he didn’t have to say it, because the real substantive difference is obviously that New Zealand First obviously will be able to and the Green Party obviously will not. We believe him.
He did say that there are incentives for BNZ to sell though, as banking is the worst for guzzling our profits and sending them overseas.
There’s something to be said for platforming the Platform (get it? cause Michael Laws hosts the Platform podcast), but sometimes the jokes write themselves. Just not in this case, of course.
This is satire. The Dunedin Herald publishes parody, commentary and invented stories. It is not affiliated with NZ Herald, NZME, or any government department that has stopped returning our calls.

