At 3AM yesterday evening, National MP Paul Goldsmith was suspected to have run away from the Beehive. Witnesses say he was last seen carrying a stack of ministerial briefing papers and muttering something about "just one more portfolio.”
"It's just horrible," one witness told the Dunedin Herald. "No wonder he disappeared. I would too if I had ten ministries to my name."
This afternoon, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon confirmed that the National Party is now in need of nine new MPs to be Ministers following Goldsmith's disappearance.
A Dunedin Herald journalist pressed Luxon on why nine, when Goldsmith was responsible for ten ministries.
Luxon explained that the Government had fast-tracked a Bill to entrench Paul Goldsmith as a Minister just minutes before he disappeared.
"Purely coincidental," he said.
The Prime Minister then confirmed that the remaining nine ministries would continue to be managed by the nine new MPs, who will be advised to "just work a little harder."
This is satire. The Dunedin Herald publishes parody, commentary and invented stories. It is not affiliated with NZ Herald, NZME, or any government department that has stopped returning our calls.

