Voting is a scary thing, especially when politics is so polarising at the moment.
They gave the Orange Guy fingers, took away his lats, and now his smile is a little bit less comforting: they chudified him, symbolising our shift away from civic participation and towards political apathy.
‘Electoral disfunction’ is the simplest way to put it. Despite efforts by a number of community groups and the mysterious flirty chalkings around campus encouraging us to exercise our rights, not everyone is so sure.
But the best way to combat the increasingly campist trend in global politics, says an anonymous expert, is to accept it, embrace it, and come to peace with it.
“It’s completely okay to be unsure when corporate media is making it out as a two-horse race and shunning any attempt at forcing those who pay no tax to pay their fair share,” they said.
“Supermarkets and banks are making record profits while the majority of people suffer, which almost all the political parties see as an issue, but they insist only their plan will actually fix it.”
People are worried about picking the wrong group, while others are certain about voting to support the economic position they aspire to be in - which means voting against themselves right now. It’s confusing, but electoral disfunction is real and it is important you know you are not alone.
This is satire. The Dunedin Herald publishes parody, commentary and invented stories. It is not affiliated with NZ Herald, NZME, or any government department that has stopped returning our calls.