Aotearoa’s top Chris recently flew to what he called “some random” place Palau in the biggest plane his government of fiscality could afford: the humble Boeing 757.
Actually, despite giving the other Chris shit for it a couple years ago, Luxon felt he had to cater for something by taking two whole airplanes. Like damn, how much of an ego can a guy without hair have?
There were rumours of the PM getting it on in the plane bathrooms, but the Dunedin Herald can say with like 94.5% certainty that no one on the flight was impressed enough with the size of his plane to have any connection past one-word answers with the man.
Our many sources on the ground in Palau reported that Big Chris™ actually took off his deliciously blue (because of course it fucking was) hawaiian (wrong culture idiot) shirt immediately after cameras stopped rolling, presumably due to the heat that they just don’t get in Botany.
Interviewing a witness of the incident, one reporter was told “I’d never seen someone more in need of a mole map.”
As for the reason that the palangi PM and his band of personalities even went to Palau, who even knows.
He says it was to get some PIF, whatever that is. Probably some drug you can’t get at Chemist Warehouse.
All up another great day out for our favourite politician and his buddies :D
This is satire. The Dunedin Herald publishes parody, commentary and invented stories. It is not affiliated with NZ Herald, NZME, or any government department that has stopped returning our calls.