Tom Cruise insists scientology is 'lowkey chill'

Descending via steel cable from a hovering helicopter outside a London premiere, Tom Cruise assured his gathered fans that Scientology has done a complete vibe shift.

"Nah, we don't really do that cult shit anymore aye" Cruise shouted over deafening 120-decibel rotor blades.

The Hollywood mega-star then proceeded to hand out signed T-Shirts before rappelling back into the night sky while spectators looked out in awe. Later reports state that Scientology join rates had gone up by 300%.

"Tom said they were chill, so I figured why not?" said new initiate Mark Vance.

"I kinda fuck with the whole spaceship vibe they have going on too"

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